Unterzuber.com FAQ
Sometimes I get questions about this web site. Sometimes I answer them. Here are some common questions (just click on the question):
1. Why is it called "Unterzuber.com"? Is it some sort of anagram?
2. Just exactly what is the purpose of this site?
3. How do you develop and edit the site? What HTML editor do you use?
4. Why do you post so many images on the site?
5. Why are there so many pictures of snow/cats/kayaks/whatever?
6. Do you use a digital camera? Or do you scan in the photos?
7. Why do you post pages on "how to" do certain things (for example, dubbing albums to CD-R's)?
8. Does Scout really write the Gripe Pages?
9. Why aren't there any pictures of you in your kayaks?
10. What do you mean "paddling solo"? How did you get the pictures of yourself on Bear Island?
11. Do you dive regularly? What kind of equipment do you use?
12. Why don't you have more underwater pictures from diving?
13. Why do you listen to such unusual albums and watch such unusual movies?
14. What about Donnie Darko? And why do you comment at such length on movies and albums? Are you an amateur (frustrated) critic?
15. Does the inductive telephone tap really work?
16. What's the deal with Richard Thompson?
17. What's the deal with Orchestra Luna? Are you stalking them or something?
1. Why is it called "Unterzuber.com"? Is it some sort of anagram?
No, it's not an anagram. I tried to get "Smith.com" but it was already taken.
2. Just exactly what is the purpose of this site?
This is strictly a "vanity" site. There are no advertisements, no merchandise to sell, no commercial links, and no counters or hidden functions. I maintain it because I want to maintain it. I don't even try to get it indexed by any of the popular search engines, though it DID recently make it onto Google. (And I DID recently create a page on "4ourism" in which I ask the readers to send me money, but it's all a joke. Really.)
3. How do you develop and edit the site? What HTML editor do you use?
I used to be able to say that I didn't use an HTML editor or any similar tools. I did it all using Microsoft Notepad and Irfanview. However, I recently started using Front Page so I could organize my pages using frames. Once you have five or six pages on any one subject, you need to have a better way to maneuver through them. The few java scripts (hover, animated cursor, etc.) I use I stole from other sites by cutting and pasting the source text.
4. Why do you post so many images on the site?
My basic web hosting package includes 200 MB of storage, which works out to be a lot of pictures. I like to think of this as a sort of "public" photo album that I can access from just about anywhere. It's easier than carrying a bunch of photos in my wallet.
5. Why are there so many pictures of snow/cats/kayaks/whatever?
Because I like them and, since it's a vanity site, I can post what I like. I don't have to change the content to attract viewers or please a client.
6. Do you use a digital camera? Or do you scan in the photos?
I do both. I currently use an Olympus C4040Z digital camera for digital photos, though some of the photos were taken with older digital cameras. I also scan in new and old photos from prints or negatives. The diving certification photos, for example, were taken with an inexpensive, disposable Fuji underwater camera. And some of the Cayman Islands diving images were captured from a videotape produced by a commercial videographer.
7. Why do you post pages on "how to" do certain things (for example, dubbing albums to CD-R's)?
I'm not a particularly "handy" person. When I finally figure out how to do something, I like to share it with others, just as I like to hear from other people how to do things that would ordinarily baffle me. For example, the deck wash I developed has been used by several of my friends and they are always asking me for the formula after they forgot how to make it. As for dubbing albums, I had a cassette tape of a live performance of a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta that I wanted to dub to CD in a semi-professional manner, complete with separate tracks for each song. It took me a long time to figure out how to do it inexpensively and with satisfactory results. I'd like to pass on the hard-earned lessons to others.
8. Does Scout really write the Gripe Pages?
Yes.
9. Why aren't there any pictures of you in your kayaks?
I have yet to figure out to take pictures of myself when I'm in a kayak. Most of the time, I'm paddling solo. I'm working on a way to mount a camera on the bow, but it has to be waterproof and I would have to be able to trip it remotely. So far, the workable solutions are expensive and the inexpensive solutions aren't workable.
10. What do you mean "paddling solo"? How did you get the pictures of yourself on Bear Island?
The self-timer and a velcro camera mount. Hang the camera on a tree pointing in the right direction, set the timer, and run over and pretend to be doing something. I'd do the same thing with a kayak, but it takes longer than 12 seconds to get into a kayak and launch it.
11. Do you dive regularly? What kind of equipment do you use?
Not really. I'm a novice diver, with fewer than 20 logged dives. I have my own basic equipment only because I got some good deals. I use a Scubapro Classic BCD, a Scubapro MK25/S600/R190 regulator, and Tusa Xpert Zoom split fins. My mask is inexpensive, but I got corrective lenses installed...worth absolutely every penny. I also have a Uwatec dive computer and a Citizens Aqualand watch, both of which are more complex than I need, but still very useful.
12. Why don't you have more underwater pictures from diving?
Because I'm stupid. I bought an inexpensive Suprema underwater 35mm camera to take diving and lost it on the way to my third dive. The inexpensive disposable underwater cameras don't work very well below 30 feet and usually don't have a built-in flash. Give me some time and I'll try to get another underwater camera.
13. Why do you listen to such unusual albums and watch such unusual movies?
Like most people, I "stumble" across albums and movies. I read about them in the media, or try to find movies and albums which are similar to those I know I enjoy. I read about Bram Tchaikovsky, for example, in a free weekly while I was living in Chicago. The album sounded interesting and I bought it. I immediately liked it...and the rest is history. Donnie Darko is another story....
14. What about Donnie Darko? And why do you comment at such length on movies and albums? Are you an amateur (frustrated) critic?
Donnie Darko is likely to be the topic of a whole separate web page in the near future. As for the lengthy comments, I think that I just like to explain why I enjoyed a movie or an album. No deep insights or artistic analysis involved. (And my wife HATES Requiem for a Dream).
15. Does the inductive telephone tap really work?
Absolutely! It will also produce a low-voltage current (enough to power a small radio or light a flashlight bulb) if you put it around a 120 VAC conductor, though I wouldn't advise you to try it without the proper electrical experience.
16. What's the deal with Richard Thompson?
To paraphrase someone famous: "If I have to explain, you wouldn't understand."
17. What's the deal with Orchestra Luna? Are you stalking them or something??
Well, there's no restraining order...yet. I have enjoyed their music for many years, but, unlike many less-talented groups from the 1970's, they have not received the recognition they richly deserved. Furthermore, I couldn't find any good websites devoted to them. I decided to remedy the situation.